“I remember a time in my life when I was frightened by just about
everything—fearful that I would fail in all my attempts to fulfill my
dreams. So I just stayed at home, a victim of my insecurities. I’d like to
report that it was an ancient Zen master who snapped me back into
awareness. But it wasn’t. it was actually an Eastern Airlines commercial
that used the slogan ‘Get into this world.’ When I saw this commercial,
I suddenly realized I had stopped participating in the world.”
“Are you a ‘victim’ or are you taking responsibility for your life? So
many of us think we are taking responsibility for our lives when we
simply are not. The ‘victim’ mentality is subtle and takes many forms.”



Handling fear
There are different types of fear, but one is the killer: the simple but allpowerful
belief that you won’t be able to handle something. We won’t
be able to handle it if our partner leaves us, we won’t be able to handle
it if we don’t have a certain income, and so on. The basic work to be
done is to get to a point where you know you can handle anything that
comes your way, bad and good. This sounds like an empty platitude,
but Jeffers’ point is that fear is not a psychological problem but an educational
one. You must re-educate yourself to accept fear as a necessary
part of growth, then move on.


Saying “yes” to your universe
Refreshingly, Jeffers does not say that you can totally control your
world. Things happen for reasons of their own. The key to not getting
bogged down in fear is to affirm what is. This not only applies to small
things like losing a wallet, but to more significant ones like pain. Positive
thinking may not make pain disappear, but if you include it as part
of your universe—if you don’t deny its right to be—it loses its terror.
Jeffers mentions Viktor Frankl’s concentration camp classic Man’s
Search for Meaning, which describes some of the most hideous conditions
that humans have had to endure, yet within the barbed-wire
fences the author could still find people who were saying “yes” to it all,
choosing responsibility instead of giving up.
Throughout our lives we are told to take responsibility. We interpret
this as meaning going to college, getting a job, getting a mortgage, marriage.
Jeffers’ understanding of it is closer to Emerson’s ideal of selfreliance,
that is, being responsible for how you interpret your life
experiences. Hate your job? Then either take a conscious decision to
stay and make something out of it (an emphatic “yes”), or go.


Why positive thinking works
Positive thinking is fine, but it does not reflect reality. It’s too
“Pollyanna.” This is the common accusation, but Jeffers asks: If 90
percent of what we worry about never happens (as studies demonstrate),
how is negativity more “realistic” than positivity? The fact is
that what is realistic is up to us, depending on how we shape our
thoughts.
A positive mindset will not save you from bad news, but your reactions
to it can be different. Replace “It’s terrible!” with “It’s a learning
experience.” OK, but what about serious stuff, like getting cancer?
Jeffers says that this attitude made all the difference in her own cancer
experience. If the rule applies in such extreme situations, then there is
no excuse for overreaction on a day-to-day basis. We love to denounce
things and be drama queens, but Jeffers says to look at how it
weakens us.
The key to positive thinking, the most elemental yet most overlooked
aspect to it, is that you must practice it all the time. Even Susan
Jeffers, a famous motivational figure, cannot afford to go a day without
positive mental refueling. We won’t go without breakfast, or a morning

jog, or a child’s hug, she says, so why do we think that a program of
daily positive energizing is optional? Build a collection of inspirational
books and tapes and read/play them daily, she advises. The effect will
probably be greater than you think, both on yourself and the world
you inhabit. Write out your favorite inspirational quotes and keep them
next to your computer, in your car, by your bed. The positivity you
create will start to seem closer to how things should be (to “reality”)
than the way you are used to being. The former life will begin to
appear as if it was lived in a gray fog.



Program the subconscious
You can be sure that whatever exists in your subconscious mind will
find a way to express itself in real life. It is therefore crucial to take control
of your mental inputs at every level. One important way of generating
change and overcoming fear, which requires little work or courage,
is affirmations. Jeffers defines these as positive statements affirming that
something is already happening. A statement like “I will not put myself
down any more” won’t work. It must be both positive and present. For
example, “I am a confident person in every situation.” You don’t even
have to believe in affirmations for them to work, as long as they become
your mantra. The mind reacts to what it is fed, whether it is true or
false. We can either listen to our “chatterbox” or to our higher self.