“The Character Ethic is based on the fundamental idea that there are
principles that govern human effectiveness—natural laws in the human
dimension that are just as real, just as unchanging and unarguably
‘there’ as laws such as gravity are in the physical dimension.”
“People can’t live with change if there’s not a changeless core inside
them. The key to the ability to change is a changeless sense of who you
are, what you are about and what you value.”
“Most people tend to think in terms of dichotomies: strong or weak,
hardball or softball, win or lose. But that kind of thinking is fundamentally
flawed. It’s based on power and position rather than on principle.
Win/Win is based on the paradigm that there is plenty for everybody,
that one person’s success is not achieved at the expense of exclusion of
the success of others.”


1 Be proactive. We always have the freedom to choose our reactions
to stimuli, even if everything else is taken away. With that ability
also comes the knowledge that we do not have to live by the scripts
that family or society has given us. Instead of “being lived,” we
accept full responsibility for our life the way conscience tells us that
it was meant to be lived. We are no longer a reactive machine but a
proactive person.
2 Begin with the end in mind. What do I want people to say about me
at my funeral? By writing our own eulogy or creating a personal
mission statement, we create the ultimate objective or person first,
and work backward from there. We have a self-guidance system that
gives us the wisdom to make the right choice, so that whatever we
do today is in line with the image created of ourselves at the end.
3 Put first things first. Habit 3 puts into daily action the farsightedness
of habit 2. Having that ultimate picture in our mind, we
can plan our days for maximum effectiveness and enjoyment. Our
time is spent with the people and the things that really matter.
4 Think Win/Win. One person’s success doesn’t need to be achieved at
the expense of the success of others. In seeking Win/Win, we never
endanger our own principles. The result is a better relationship—

“not your way or my way, a better way”—created by truly seeing
from the other person’s perspective.

5 Seek to understand, then to be understood. Without empathy, there
is no influence. Without deposits in the emotional bank account of
relationships, there is no trust. Genuine listening gives precious psychological
air to the other person, and opens a window on to their
soul.
6 Synergize. Synergy results from the exercise of all the other habits. It
brings forth “third alternatives” or perfect outcomes that cannot be
predicted from adding up the sum of the parts.
7 Sharpen the saw. We need to balance the physical, spiritual, mental,
and social dimensions of life. “Sharpening the saw” to increase productivity
involves taking the time to regularly renew ourselves in
these areas.